![]() Like, what man has baby wipes in the center console of his Porsche? Please, like he ever changed a diaper. It was a cold, sunny morning the day my world fell apart. ![]() So I, Brandi Glanville, am here to bestow this simple but valuable piece of information on you: if you discover your partner is cheating, drink like it’s your last party, blame everyone else for your problems, let “binging” be your new favorite hobby, and, by all means, FUCKING PANIC. Absolute hysteria is just the beginning-you’re about to embark on an entire roller coaster of crazy-ass emotions. The rug has just been pulled out from beneath your feet, and everything you thought you knew with absolute certainty has vanished. It’s time to freak the fuck out, and that’s not just acceptable, it’s obligatory. It’s the God’s honest truth, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either completely blowing smoke up your ass, a lawyer, or my ex-husband. I’m here to tell you that if your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend is cheating, life, as you know it, is over. Really? Who are these people? I discovered that my husband of eight years was banging every short skirt-and wide back-in Hollywood after seeing it on the cover of a celebrity-gossip magazine, but I’m supposed to stay calm? I’m supposed to eat shit with a fork and a knife and say thank you when I’m done swallowing this crap?įuck off. ![]() If He Walks like a Duck and Talks like a Duck . . . ![]()
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